Missing Peice xx
by Mariaoakeyy
Summary: I'm not really any good at summaries Trailer is better. Basically Oth and Zannesa crossed. Vanessa is in a deep depression but her 2 closest friends zac and lucas are arguing all the time. Can they save her before she makes a bad decision.
1. Falling Into Depression !

** Chapter 1 – Falling Into Depression !  
**

Her heart stopped as they pulled up outside a house that had teenagers scattered around it. She had told her best friend that she was OK with going to the party but really she didn't want to even leave her own bedroom. The darkness had been taking over her life for a few weeks now and she didn't know what to do accept try for her best friend's sake.

" You okay Vanessa ? " Lucas asked for the fourth time that night.

She replied by just nodding her head slightly and turning to face the other way, so he could not tell she was lying. She looked as white as a ghost. Her body had changed over the very few weeks. She had lost all of her colour and she was now being marked down as "anorexic" by the doctors.  
She had not been eating at all for the last couple of weeks but before that she hardly ate anything anyway. She had been underweight for sometime but at least before she had eaten something.

"Come on we better get inside before the party finishes."

She didn't want to go. She had many friends there but she thought her friends would hate her if they saw her like this. Be ashamed of her. They weren't ashamed they were worried for her health and how she was feeling. They knew her Uncle had just died but they had to make sure that she didn't hurt herself in the process of mourning. Lucas didn't tell Vanessa he was scared for her because he felt like it might make her worse , but nothing can be worse than what she is now right ?

They headed towards their friends house, earning alot of stares from the boys in the driveway. When they got inside they saw about 30-40 people in the main party room. Lucas kept Vanessa close to make sure she wouldn't get lost. Two Boys slowly Started to make their way towards Vanessa and Lucas.

" Hey Nessa , Luc you made it ." Corbin was so happy to see his friends whom he had not seen for at least a year since he moved up north. He was happy that he had just moved back to Tree-Hill with his friend Zac. He had missed his two best friends since high school.

" Hey Corbin, How ya been Man." Lucas Replied Cheerfully.  
" I've been great man how about you."  
" Great"  
" Good to hear, How about you Ness ?

Vanessa noticed everyone was staring at her waiting for a response but she couldn't drag out a simple response. She was trembling and she didn't know why. It was just her friends she was talking to , why was she so scared? Sadness covered her face and she just looked down at the floor. 

" Vanessa sweetie, What's wrong?" Corbin Questioned. Concern flashed over his face as he moved closer to the petite girl. 

She wrapped her arm around her fragile body and began to shake her head signalling nothing was the matter. Lucas put an arm around his best friend. Worried was an understatement of how he felt. Zac's eyes stayed fixed on the small brunette and even though he didn't even know her , he wanted to comfort her. No one could disagree that Vanessa was beautiful, she was stunning, but right now she needed help , comfort.

" I'm gonna go get some drinks " Corbin changed the conversation because he saw Vanessa was too uncomfortable for talking about herself right now. He knew he had to help her but not right here, not now.  
Lucas and Corbin left to fetch drinks for themselves and Zac. Vanessa had refused her drink, no surprise. She continued to stare down at the tiled floor whilst Zac stood their awkwardly. 

" Hey by the way, I'm Zac , nice to meet you !" He needed to bring up some conversation, also he wanted to get to know this girl. There was something intriguing about her. He held out his hand for her to shake.

Vanessa looked up nervously and took the boys hand. " Vanessa" she mumbled so quiet Zac could barely hear her.

He was shocked at how skinny she was. Her tiny hands and her tiny fingers. Bones were sticking out of her body which he knew was not right. He knew for a fact that she was ten times skinnier than his little niece who was only 9.

**With Lucas and Corbin******

" So man What's up with Vanessa, I'm so worried about her right now?" Corbin asked/

" Well as you know her Uncle died and she hasn't been the same since. She won't eat, she won't sleep and she hardly talks. I sent her to a Doctor and he told me to get her into a shrink which I have been trying to do, but he also said that she has anorexia."

" Yeah, I can tell about the weight issues but I mean I will be here now so we can both help her to recover. She just needs her friends with her at all times."

The guys received their drinks and went back to where Zac and Vanessa were standing. They handed the drinks out and then they had a conversation about what they had been up to for the past year , which Vanessa had not joined in with. Zac could not help but stare at Vanessa, the girl he just met but the girl he wanted to comfort. She was like a misguided angel to him. He just wanted her to be okay again , no one deserved to have this much sadness in their lives.

Vanessa excused herself to use the rest-rooms , but secretly trying to get away from the hard conversation. Whilst in the bathroom on the 3rd floor she saw something that looked so tempting.  
Why though? Why couldn't she stop this silly behaviour. Unable to fight the urge any more she double-checked the bathroom door was locked and picked up the RAZOR. She scraped the razor harshly against both her wrists and then watched as the sticky red substance oozed out of her. Too much of her blood rushed to the tile floor below but she just watched while it escaped her. She felt her self become dizzy and nauseas and dropped down to the tile floor. The blood came faster and faster and she then slipped into the darkness.

**With The Boys**

" Vanessa has been like 20 minutes I better go and see if she is alright." Lucas was sure his best friend was okay but he knew she was upset so he just wanted to comfort her, little did he know what Vanessa had done.

" No its okay man. I got this, I was gonna go use the toilet now anyway ill just tell her you were looking for her." Zac told Lucas.

Lucas agreed to letting Zac check on his best friend, knowing that he was a nice guy. Zac stepped towards the 3rd floor bathroom and knocked lightly on the door.

" Vanessa it's me Zac, are you in there ?"

No response. Zac knocked a few more times then put his ear against the door. All he heard was a dripping noise of some sort. He knew if she was in there she probably was not going to answer

" Okay Vanessa sweetie, if you don't answer me I'm going to have to use this key to unlock this door."

No response came so Zac grabbed the key from behind the plant pot and unlocked the bathroom door. The image he saw next nearly sent him into a state of shock. A Petite Female surrounded by a pool of blood. 


	2. Too Far To Turn Back !

**Chapter 2 – Too Far To Turn Back**

Recap – Vanessa and Lucas were at Corbin's House party. Vanessa was depressed and was not talking to anyone at the party. Zac started to show slight feeling for Vanessa and concern about her health even though they had just met. Vanessa went to the rest-room and found a razor. She cut herself causing her self to slip into darkness. Zac has just found her. Will Vanessa be okay? How will Lucas React?

He rushed to the Brunette's side and gently knelt down beside her. He shouted at the top of his lungs for help until two unfamiliar teenage boys rushed into the bathroom.

" Call 911, go downstairs and get Lucas and Corbin. Go Please" Zac Pleaded.

The two teenagers rushed downstairs to fetch Lucas and Corbin and to call the ambulance. Lucas was worried sick. He didn't know what was going on. All he knew was that their had been " An Accident", according to the boys who had just passed him in the hallway. Lucas and Corbin reached the third floor bathroom where the two teenagers had told them to go. Lucas' heart broke at the sight of the girl he loved bleeding to death on the floor in front of him. Corbin dropped down to his knee's , hoping that this was just a horrible nightmare. All three boys crowded round Vanessa trying to support her body as best they could. The sirens could be heard from outside the house and the two teenagers pointed the paramedics to the place where the small brunette had passed out.

" Okay guys I'm gonna need you to step away from her so we can get her safely downstairs." The paramedic instructed. He listened to Vanessa's pulse and picked her up gently placing her on the Gurney. The other two paramedics made sure the path was clear so they could get to the ambulance quickly before the girl could be in serious trouble.

Lucas, Corbin and Zac was in shock. They followed the ambulance all the way to the hospital, all of them did not know what to say. Lucas had been best friends with Vanessa since Kindergarten and didn't ever want to lose her. What would he do without his best friend? When they pulled up outside the hospital they saw Vanessa being taken into the hospital with wires attached all over her body. The receptionist told them they had to sit in the waiting room because Vanessa was being sent straight to the E.R and was in no state to see any one for a while. 

They had been waiting for over 3 hours now on edge all the time, wondering if she was going to be okay or even if she was still alive. Lucas had told the others to go home and get some rest and come back tomorrow but they refused. They wanted to see Vanessa also, Especially Zac. That may sound weird because she had not been in much of his life, but he felt like he wanted to help her, comfort her and make sure she never made the same mistake.

" What Happened Zac ? " Lucas questioned. Zac stared at Lucas uncertain about what he was saying .

" How did it happen, Was it accidental or … ? "  
" I'm sorry but I found this in her hand and I'm pretty sure it wasn't accidental."

Zac handed the bloody razor over to Lucas and then looked down at the floor twiddling with his fingers. Lucas was heart-broken. His best-friend had tried to harm her self. He stared down at the sharp object in his hand and began to think about her limp body in the bathroom. He winced and shook those awful memories from his head. For the next hour their was only little conversation between the three.

" Hello, are you the family or friends of Vanessa ? " A man in white overalls asked.

The three nodded without saying anything, but Lucas was scared of the voice the doctor was using. It sounded like a BAD-NEWS voice. He could not handle bad news.

" Well Vanessa is on Life support at the moment and has lost a lot of blood. She also has a concussion. We have put her down in the Critical Condition room on block 40a. You may go and see her but I insist that you be very quiet." 

The Boys nodded to the doctor thanking him and they all set off to Room 40a. Lucas touched the door handle with his fingertips that were trembling like mad. They all entered the room to see Vanessa in a very deep sleep. She was hooked with all sorts of wires. This was not good. She looked helpless. Her skin looked even paler than it did before. Lucas sat down on a seat next to her bedside and gently placed his hand with hers. Corbin said he and Zac would go down to the canteen and come back later so they could talk to Vanessa alone later on .

" Vanessa, I can't lose you baby girl. I need you in my life. I should of confronted you or helped you a bit more when I knew there was something strange going on. I didn't know this would happen. I love you and I never want to let you go. Baby girl you gotta wake up. We will help you get past this , please just give me another chance to fix this Nessa.

Lucas gently placed a kiss on Vanessa's forehead and continued praying that she would come back to him. Zac and Corbin walked back into the room 20 minutes later and also went over to Vanessa's bedside. Corbin held Vanessa's other hand looking at her worriedly. Zac was scared for the little girl. All he wanted was for her to be safe and healthy. Visiting hours came to an end and all boys had to leave the hospital room. The boy decided that they had to go home and get some rest before they came to see Vanessa next. They all stayed together that night, hoping and praying Vanessa would be okay without them.

**NEXT MORNING  
**Zac had woke up early that morning determined to get to the hospital before the others so he could just talk to Vanessa. He knew she could not hear him because she was out cold, but he just wanted to let what he was feeling out. When he got to the hospital he signed in as a guest and walked to room 40a. When her entered the room he saw Vanessa in the same state. She was lying there in a deep sleep looking fragile and helpless. He reached for one of her bony hands and rubbed them gently.

" Vanessa, I know we have only just met but I don't want you to be like this. You don't deserve this, at all ! Lucas and Corbin are worried sick about you and weirdly enough so am I. We all want to help you heal sweetheart. When I found you lying in the bathroom...I...I was scared. I didn't know what to do, or what to say to Corbin and Lucas. Please Vanessa, just wake up we all need you to be here. We miss you !"

Zac was interrupted by a doctor walking in with a Clipboard and a serious look on his face.

" Hello , I'm Doctor Samuels and you must be one of Vanessa's friends?" Zac nodded and the Doctor carried on. " Well Vanessa didn't have a very good night last night. She was Struggling to breathe properly but we did mange to settle her. Well after that little incident Vanessa was just the same and we hope we can do everything we can to make her better."

Zac nodded and the Doctor exited the room. Zac hoped she would get better. She needed to. She was a beautiful person he deserved to have a happy and content life. Zac spent at least 2 hours staring at the beauty in front of him, until Lucas and Corbin entered the room.

"Hey man , what are you doing here so early." Lucas asked.  
" Well I though Vanessa would like some company so..."  
"Okay lets go and get some breakfast you must be starving." Corbin added  
"Yeah, could eat a horse." Zac let go of Vanessa's hand and while the others weren't looking he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He had gulped his breakfast down fast because he wanted to see Vanessa alone before the others came in. He didn't know why but he had become attached to her. Probably because she was the most stunningly beautiful human being he had ever seen. The others walked in a few minutes after Zac did and they all stayed in her room until visiting hours were over.


	3. These Past Weeks Were Hell !

**Chapter 3 – These Past Weeks Were Hell !  
**  
the same things happened each week. Zac would come to the hospital earlier than Lucas and Corbin would and they would all worry sick about the girl who has been in a coma for the last 3 and a half weeks now. The doctor told them if she did wake again she would be signed up to a psychiatrist to apparently help her with what was upsetting her to commit suicide. Lucas had made her go to a shrink once before and she hated it so much that he finally agreed to not letting her go anymore. He was worried too much now and he knew she had to get help. She was the one person he loved and he could not let this happen again.

Corbin had gone to get some sandwiches for the boys to eat and it was just Lucas and Zac left alone in Vanessa's hospital room.

" Is everything okay Lucas, You haven't spoke all afternoon."  
"I'm fine it's just , I'm so worried about Vanessa. The last time I took her to see a shrink she hated it and now she has to go again. I know its for her own safety but I just don't want her to get worse. Last time she went to see one she wouldn't talk for ages. I don't know how she is doing in here , is she progressing or not. I just don't want to lose her."  
" I know man, no one wants to lose her but I'm sure she can fight her way through this."  
" If she tried to kill herself she is going to fight against coming back."  
" I know this is tough on you but you need to believe in her. She does not deserve to go and she won't because you told me yourself she is strong and will pull through."  
Lucas felt a little better after talking to Zac and just prayed that nothing would happen to Vanessa.

The next Morning at 5, Zac had got ready and set off to the hospital to see the brown eyed beauty he admired so much. It was the same as every other day the past couple of weeks. He rode to the hospital, signed in and made his way to Vanessa's room. When he got there a Doctor told him he had to wait outside for a while until they had finished with Vanessa. He got a bit worried because when he usually came in at this time their would only be 1 Doctor in the room and Zac was still allowed to go inside and wait. What if something had happened! How could he tell Lucas and Corbin. He sat there in the waiting room for just under half an hour when the same Doctor who had told him to wait said he could go and see Vanessa now.

When he went into Vanessa's room he saw her beautiful eyes looking up at him. She had woken. He smiled at her and rushed to stand by her side. She still looked very fragile with wires coming from all over the place. She looked scared and he wondered why. The Doctor then told him he would wait outside and give the two a few minutes.

" Hey Vanessa sweetie , can you remember me ? I'm Zac I was at the party!"

Vanessa nodded her head and winced at the pain. Zac placed his hands with her tiny ones and he began to stroke her forehead. Tears formed in her eyes and she began to tremble.

" Sweetie what's wrong, are you hurting?" She continued to tremble and Zac got worried. Should he call the Doctor to get her some pain medication?

" Where's Lu-Lucas? " She could barely speak. Her voice was shaky and her voice was so quiet.  
" He's should be here soon sweetie, I'll go phone him for you and tell him to come now." He started to walk for the door with his mobile phone in his hand but then he heard the little girl whimper. 

" What's wrong sweetheart"  
" Please don't le-leave I do-don't want to be alone"  
He nodded and headed back to where Vanessa was lying. She looked so frightened but he did not know what to do except to calm her down. She settled down after a while, but Zac continued to whisper soothing words in to her ear. After about an hour Lucas and Corbin had arrived at the hospital. They knew Zac had come earlier again so they just made their way to Vanessa's room. Lucas was shocked to see his best friend awake in the same bed she had been in a coma for 3 and a half weeks.

" Oh my god Vanessa, your awake. I missed you so much sweetheart." He was so happy that the person he loved the most had woke up. He went over to the side of the bed and hugged Vanessa lightly. She winced in pain and Lucas shot up not wanting to hurt her anymore. He kissed her forehead and placed one of his hands with hers. Corbin also came to sit by Vanessa and he softly began stroking her hair. Vanessa got a little nervous because everyone was staring at her and it made her uncomfortable. Vanessa wouldn't speak for the entire time the boys were there. She was scared of the time when they were going to ask her about what happened that night. The Doctor came in a lot that day to do tests on Vanessa.

A week passed and nothing had changed much. Vanessa was still hooked to lots of wires and Lucas, Zac an Corbin still panicked about her every single day. Corbin and Zac had gone to get some lunch leaving Vanessa and Lucas to talk.

" Baby girl I need to talk to you about something." She knew what was coming and she was terrified. " It's about what happened on the night." Her heart began to beat faster and faster and the monitor was going crazy. " Baby girl come on calm down sweetie, we don't have to talk about it just please calm down." He was scared that she would hurt her self again. He just wanted to talk to her about this. Her heart pace slowed and Lucas became more relaxed. " Do you not want to talk about it sweetie." She replied by shaking her head and looking down at her hands. Lucas was also scared that she wasn't talking. The Doctor had said she didn't have anything wrong with her throat so she should be able to talk, also Zac had said she had spoke a little before Lucas had come to the hospital. Did she hate him? If so why?

" Do you not want to talk to me Nes? Have I done something wrong?" She shook her head again and she saw how upset Lucas had became. Ignoring the pain she scooted closer to Lucas and put her head on his shoulder. He has missed this. " I love you Baby". Vanessa didn't want to speak but she wanted to tell Lucas that she loved him also, so she decided she had to speak. " I love you too" she replied in a very quiet voice. He pulled her into a hug being careful not to hurt her. He was so glad she had spoken. He had missed her angelic voice.

A few hours later the boys were asked to leave because visiting hours were over and Vanessa didn't want to be alone. "P-please don't g-go I..I don't want yo-you to leave." All 3 boys looked at the fragile female and began to soothe her. Whilst she had fell asleep the boys were asked again to leave so they followed the orders. Vanessa woke up around 2 and a half hours later panicking. She couldn't find Lucas or Zac or Corbin. They said they would stay with her. She began shaking and tears fell down her cheeks. She tried to get herself to stop telling herself that this was silly how she was behaving. The monitors started to go crazy and the two familiar faced doctor's rushed in and tried to calm Vanessa.

Vanessa didn't sleep that night she was too scared. Scared of nightmares and most of all she never wanted to wake up when she went to sleep. She didn't want to be here anymore, she hated it. It was half past 6 in the morning and still no sign of the boys. She tried convincing herself that they didn't want her anymore, That they had moved on with their lives and they weren't going to wait for a pathetic "thing" such as herself. But she wasn't pathetic. She had to many people that cared about her.  
Vanessa had an en-suite bathroom in her hospital room because she was unable to go to a further one. She was unsure if she should unhook all the wires because usually when she went to the bathroom they injected her with something that would keep her breathing for the duration of the time she was in there. But she thought it would do no harm to go for a quick shower so she tugged out all the wires that were attached to her petite body and headed for the bathroom. She could hardly walk without getting dizzy but she managed to reach the bathroom. Without thinking of the consequences she locked the bathroom door. Her body was getting dizzy and she could hardly stand upright. Her knee's became weak and her breathing slowed. She punched the mirror as hard as she could feeling frustrated at her self for being so weak. The shattered glass made its way down to the floor cutting Vanessa's feet. She looked down at herself ashamed. The hospital wear was far too big on her and the colour had gone completely from her face. Her last breath escaped her and she dropped to the floor below, ;anding with a crack to the head.

Around 15 minuted later the 3 boys entered the room looking for the small brunette. She was no where to be seen and that scared them. Lucas went down the hall to fetch the doctor in-case she had been sent to the ER for an operation again. The doctor who looked after Vanessa the most came into the room and looked just as confused as the boys. He suddenly rushed over to the bathroom door and tried to turn the handle. " Locked!". All 4 of them knew know where Vanessa was and began to panic for her safety. Another male doctor entered the room and barged open the bathroom door. The doctors rushed over to Vanessa's limp body and one of them picked her up bridal style. Lucas was heartbroken. "Not again, no please don't let her die I need her." Vanessa was rushed to the ER leaving Lucas to beg for the female to be okay.


	4. Let It All Out !

**Chapter 4 – Let It All Out !**

Vanessa ended up with a bad concussion and had to spend the night in the ER. Lucas was frustrated and refused to leave the hospital until he saw that Vanessa was okay. Zac and Corbin stayed with Lucas all night and they also worried about the small brunette.

" Dude she will be fine. The doctor said she would come out of the ER tomorrow. We are all worried and we just need to help Vanessa right now with whatever is making her do this." Corbin was always trying to be positive even at times when he knew things weren't to good. 

" I know but I...I just want her to talk to us and be able to open up so we can help her." Lucas replied.  
" We all want that but she may need some time before she talks about what happened." Zac added.

The boys talked a bit longer but not about Vanessa. They wanted to stay hopeful and not let negative thoughts into their heads. Vanessa was awake in the ER and was scared. The surroundings were different and the three boys she was waiting for were still not there. One of the young male doctors walked over to Vanessa and stroked her hair trying to soothe her. It didn't work. The only person who could soothe her would be Lucas and Zac. She knew that Zac had only been in her life for about a few weeks but she felt like he made her calm at the roughest times. Was this a weird thing?

It was around 12pm the next day when Vanessa was taken to her own room. The boys were all surrounding her bed and she felt relaxed for the first time in a while. The boys tried to get Vanessa to speak but she never did. She felt like she had nothing to say to them but she was thankful for how much they had helped her. The Doctor walked in their wanting to talk to Vanessa and the boys about something and the boys were hoping it was good news like Vanessa was making good progress.

" Hey Vanessa, How are you feeling sweetie ? " Vanessa smiled and nodded a little signalling that she was okay. " I have came to tell you that Doctor Clay Evans will be coming to see you tomorrow Vanessa." all 4 looked at Vanessa waiting for a response and she just stared down at her bony fingers. "Who is he?" she asked weakly. "He is a psychiatrist Vanessa , he wants to come and introduce himself because he is going to be working with you for some time now." Vanessa gulped and shook her head viciously. Lucas squeezed Vanessa's hand reassuring her. " N-No please I don't like it. P-please don't make me do it." Tears rolled down her cheeks and Lucas pulled her into a comforting hug. After around 5 minuted Vanessa had calmed down and had come to terms that she would have to see a shrink tomorrow. Lucas and Corbin had gone to get some lunch without Zac because he had already eaten. The doctor's had left Vanessa with Zac to talk , but neither of them knew what to say.. 

" Vanessa are you okay about the situation tomorrow?"  
" I don't want to see him, but the Doctors said I had no choice."  
" I know this is hard on you sweetheart but it may help you let yourself speak about something you couldn't tell anyone else." Vanessa moved closer to Zac knowing he would open his arms and let her cuddle into him like he had done too many times before when she got upset here. He did and he slowly rocked her to sleep. The doctors were pleased that she was opening up slightly to someone and it was the first progress she had made since she came to the hospital.

The next day came quicker than Vanessa hoped and Doctor Evans was expected to be here any minute now. Zac, Corbin and Lucas had been instructed to wait outside while Vanessa had her hour session with the psychiatrist. A tall muscular man with sandy blonde hair and ocean blue eyes walked into Vanessa's room and sat on a chair beside Vanessa.  
" Hello Vanessa , I am Doctor Clay Evans but you can just call me Clay." He smiled at her which made her smile back not wanting to be rude. " So I have been informed of why you are in here but I want to hear your side of the story on this, I know this may take some time to adjust to but I am never going to push you to say or do anything you don't want to do or say. Vanessa was glad he was nice and warm, she didn't want to have someone like the last person she went to. The last person she went to Doctor Clive Anderson was pushy and always made Vanessa to speak . He never gave her choices like Clay did.  
" In today's session I think it might be best to get to know each other as best as we can. As you know I am Clay Evans I have worked in psychology for four years now and It makes me happy to help other people. What make you happy Vanessa?."  
"I don't know... I guess being with my friends is the only thing I enjoy doing."

"Hmm .. that's always good to hear that you have good friends."  
" They're the best friends I could wish for. I don't think they feel the same though."  
" What exactly do you mean by that sweetie." She liked how he was being nice and comforting with her and she found it very easy to speak to him.  
" Well I have put the through so much and I don't deserve it all the attention I mean , I shouldn't mean anything to anyone because I'm not good enough." She furrowed her eyebrows and Clay made a some notes.  
" I don't think anyone thinks you aren't good enough Vanessa, Aside from what happened you are a beautiful girl who doesn't deserve to be here. You need to get some self-confidence back because your friends think the world of you and I'm sure other people do to."  
Vanessa felt a little better about her self already but she knew that she could never be the same person she used to be in high-school.

For the rest of the session the 2 talked about hobbies, stuff they didn't like and stuff they enjoyed.  
Clay was scheduled to come back tomorrow to see Vanessa and she didn't mind. She felt like she had someone to talk to. A new friend in a way. But she knew the things she had talked about today wasn't the things he wanted to know the most. She didn't know if she wanted to talk about the day and her past and her family . The things that made her unhappy and what led to her depression. The 4 friends talked about Clay and Lucas was glad that Vanessa was happy to see him again. He knew this was a start but she still had a long way to go but he would go through it with her. Because secretly he loved her and she was the person he wanted the most.

The day was a good one for Vanessa. She had been took off the breathing machine and she had been told that she could be returning home shortly. Lucas was happy for his Best-friend and knew she was on the road to recovery. After going for dinner Zac had rushed to Vanessa's room before the others so he could speak to her in private.

" Hey Vanessa are you okay sweetie? " . Vanessa nodded her head and looked over to the walls. Zac came and sat beside her and softly stroked her dark curls. She turned her head and smiled at him and moved an inch closer to his strong body. He picked her up and placed her on his lap and covered her with a blanket. The feeling he was getting was unusual. He felt sparks between him and the girl on his lap. He looked down at her and softly placed a kiss on her forehead. She smiled and let out a soft giggle. He loved the sound of her laugh and he continued to kiss her forehead. He worked his way down to the end of her nose and kissed her with more care. He found himself just above her lips and he slowly began to cup her face. She felt his lips softly kissing her upper lip and he began to make his way slowly down. The lips joined in unison and you could almost see the sparks. The kiss got more intense and Zac laid Vanessa on her back. She began to moan as he started to rub her sides. They heard the door beginning to open and Zac quickly released Vanessa from his grasp. Luckily the boys didn't see anything but Vanessa looked uncomfortable all night. 

The next morning Came quick and Vanessa was looking forward to seeing Clay. She had only known him for a day but she felt like he knew more about her than anyone else. Maybe he could help her with the Zac situation because she had felt uncomfortable ever since. She didn't know if she liked him. She was confused and she needed to sort the matter out. When Clay came in he smiled his warm smile at Vanessa and she just relaxed a lot more. Instead of sitting in one of the chairs he came and sat down beside the beautiful girl on the bed. He had never met anyone liker her. Vulnerable but yet she didn't think she needed help. She thought of others before she did herself. But the problem was she never thought of herself or her health. He could see a bit of concern in her face and he wanted to get straight to work. Her face became more and more worried as time went on so he decided to ask the question that had been running through his head since he arrived that morning. 

" Vanessa, is everything okay today." Tears started to fall down her delicate cheeks and she pulled up her knees to her very little body. He was concerned, very concerned. He pulled her into a comforting embrace and began to wipe away the tears that had fallen.

" Vanessa, just let it all out sweetheart.!"


	5. It Hurts To Love !

Chapter 5 – It Hurts To Love !

Vanessa jumped up from her bed shaking frantically and tears started to form in her eyes. She hit the floor with a loud thud and she just curled up into a ball and rocked herself. She looked at the clock beside her which read 3:24am. She hated having nightmares and this had to be the worst. It felt so real to her and she couldn't shake the dream from her head. A Doctor rushed into the room to see what all the commotion was about. He rushed to Vanessa's side and lifted her back onto the bed.

"Shh Vanessa sweetie, it's okay. Did you have a bad dream?" Vanessa nodded her head and she refused to go back to sleep. The Doctor stayed with her for a while but never succeeded to get her back to sleep. When the Doctor left Vanessa made her way to the bathroom. She didn't feel to good. She was sick twice and had a massive headache. She went over to the sink and brushed her teeth and combed her perfect locks. She looked at her eyes in the mirror and all she saw was black. Her eyes were not black they were brown but all she saw was the darkness inside of her. She went back into her bedroom and she got back into her bed. She never got to sleep again that night and the images flushed through her head making her dizzy.

Lucas, Zac and Corbin walked in to see Vanessa with her knees held high up to her chest rocking her self back and forth. Lucas walked over to Vanessa and held her in his arms. "Baby what's wrong?". No response came from the little girl and he began to worry. The doctor came in and told Lucas about what had happened that night and he wanted to ask Vanessa what the nightmare was but was scared she would get even worse. An hour later Clay came into Vanessa's room to see her face sad and depressed looking. He didn't like it when she was unhappy. Lucas and Corbin and Zac left the room leaving Vanessa to her daily therapy session.

" Vanessa, What has happened since I have been gone."  
" I don't like it."  
"Don't like what sweetie?"  
" The nightmares "  
" You had a nightmare!" Vanessa nodded her head and looked down at her hands. " Do you want to tell me about this nightmare?"  
"I don't know. I don't like talking about it."  
"Okay remember you don't have to say anything you don't want to."  
"How have you and Zac been?" Vanessa had told Clay about the awkward moment with her and Zac.  
" I haven't spoke to him. What if he hates me? "  
" Well he kissed you didn't he?" Vanessa nodded her head." Well then, he won't be angry at you for something he did, maybe he is too embarrassed to say something. It sounds to me like he has a crush on you but he doesn't know if you feel the same way. Do you?"  
"I don't know! I felt something when we did kiss and he makes me feel special but I don't want to fall in love with someone it hurts to much."  
" Why have you fell in love before."  
"Not really just boyfriends I suppose and I am not at all in love with Zac if it was anything It would be a really close friend or a slight comfort crush."  
"How would you know it hurts so much if you have never experienced it ? "  
" Because, my friend in high school thought she was in love but he ended up cheating on her and dumping her by a text."  
"Sweetie that is just bad luck and if you feel like you like anyone you should let yourself experience that feeling. Maybe it will make you feel better."  
"What if it doesn't ? "  
" Sweetie no one knows for sure how a relationship is going to turn out."  
Vanessa's session with Clay made her feel confident to start speaking to Zac again. She was nervous but she didn't want to let one of her friends go. Her chance to talk to him was at lunch when Zac had already eaten an hour earlier than the two other boys. It was a repeat of the other day except Zac was on a chair on the other side of the room which made Vanessa less confident. She pushed her emotions aside and decided to bring up a conversation. 

" I'm Sorry ! " She felt bad for what she had done. She felt like she had led him on. Zac however could not believe his ears, he knew what she was talking about and he knew she had nothing to be sorry for. He was the one who should be sorry. She was vulnerable and he made her feel bad. She was the most beautiful girl in the world to him but he didn't mean to make her feel bad in the process of showing her how much she meant to him.

"Sorry for what sweetie ? "  
" For the other day."  
"Hunny, that was not your fault it was mine and you shouldn't be sorry for what I did." Vanessa smiled weakly to him and he went over to her bedside. He entwined their fingers together and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He hated being in love with someone who was never going to feel the same way. They didn't talk much they just sat together feeling happy about the person they were with. When Lucas came in he asked Zac if he could have a few minutes alone with Vanessa. This scared her because she didn't know what he was going to say. Something good she hoped but she didn't often get good news.

" Nessa, I have been talking to the Doctor and he said if you keep making progress he can let you out of here on Friday." Lucas looked at Vanessa who had a big smile on her face. He kissed her on her nose and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I love you Vanessa." She loved him to. He was the most sensitive guy she had ever met. Clay, Zac and Corbin came in a close second. She hugged him tighter and he softly kissed her lips. WOW! They had both thought the same thing. Vanessa had never known how much Lucas really did love her and it kind of felt right. But in other ways it didn't. It was only 2 days till Friday and Vanessa was determined to get out of this hell hole.

The next morning Clay did not arrive at 12pm like he always did. She needed desperately to talk to him about Lucas and Zac and what they both meant to her. It was 2pm and Clay still was not there and Vanessa thought he had gave up on her. The doctor then came in the room and told Vanessa that Clay was scheduled to come at 6pm because she had some health tests to go through. She hated having tests but the one today made her scared . She was having a weight test. She knew what was going to come up like the last time she came here. It hurt her last time when the Doctors called her anorexic. Vanessa had refused all hospital food and she never let them feed her through a tube.

After the tests were finished Vanessa went back to her room to find Clay there. "Hey Vanessa." he greeted warmly. " I have just spoke to the Doctors about your tests." Now Vanessa was scared. Had they told him everything about the test. About her anorexia. She hated talking about her eating disorders. " They have told me some of your results and I would like to talk about them with you." Vanessa shook her head and looked down at the floor. Clay knew he needed to get through to her on this. " I hear you don't eat at all in here Vanessa. Why not?" Vanessa swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. " I don't want to eat. I'm not hungry." She didn't want to talk about it now or ever for that matter. The only person she had talked to about this before was one of her best girl pals Monique. That conversation never went on long either because Vanessa had refused to carry on. She had not seen Monique for a few months because she was on a holiday with her parents to visit her family. She had been texting Corbin a lot lately asking if Vanessa was okay because she was worried for her friend. Monique was due to come back in about a weeks time but Vanessa knew she was going to lecture Vanessa about what had happened whilst she was gone. 

"I know it is hard to talk about Vanessa but this is not something we can avoid at the moment. It is important you eat something because it is affecting your health." Vanessa didn't know how persistent Clay could be but she wasn't going to give in.

Clay knew Vanessa had made no progress in this session and was determined to get through to her tomorrow. Tomorrow was hopefully her last day in here because Friday was her release date if she remained the same and they didn't have any problems. She hated the fact that the doctors had told Clay her personal test results. They were private and she wanted to keep it that way. Vanessa was deep in thought about the disturbing dream she had last night. It was so vivid. Zac walked into the room looking at Vanessa who looked very disturbed. " Nessa are you okay?". Vanessa had only just noticed Zac in the room and wondered why he was alone. " I'm fine. Where's Lucas and Corbin?"

"They are just finishing their dinner. Do you want me to go get them." She shook her head and patted the bedside next to her signalling for Zac to sit next to her. She cuddled into his side and he began stroking her hair. She looked up at him smiling and he looked deeply into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes. His heart started beating frantically and he couldn't help but have strong feelings for the girl in his arms. Vanessa's eyes locked with his and she felt the same strong feeling he did. She kept on telling her self that she can't be in love but her heart told her otherwise. He leaned in and pressed his lips softly against hers. He pulled her small body closer to his and he lay her down on the bed in front of her. He brushed her midnight curls behind her ears and began to kiss her more passionately. She too felt the same electrifying spark he did. Their fingers were entwined and they could not be any closer than they were now. His tongue slipped into her mouth causing her to let out a soft moan. The lips moved together like they were a jigsaw puzzle. They pulled apart reluctant for air and they locked eyes and saw nothing but love for the other person.

" I love you Vanessa"


	6. When Impatience Takes Over !

Chapter 6 – When Impatience Takes Over !

_"I love you Uncle Keith." Vanessa stood outside in the pouring rain looking at the wrecked beaten up car which help her Uncle. " Please don't leave me!" Tears started to fall down her cheeks and she fell to the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest. A dark haired man walked towards the girl and placed a gun to her head. " You deserve to die." The girl began to tremble as the man came closer to her body. She got up from the place where she had been crying and she began to run for her front door. " Your next and there is nothing you can do about it Vanessa, no one wants you any more." Vanessa screamed at the top of her lungs waiting for someone to get her away from the evil man in front of her. " Lucas, Zac help me." The gun shot went off hitting the girl and sending her into her death._

Vanessa woke up gasping for air and something to hold on to. These nightmares had got worse. Why were they haunting her. Was it true she was next? She wanted to be next! She wanted to die. But she meant to much to a lot of people and everyone wanted her to come to terms with the fact that she didn't deserve the treatment she was giving herself. Vanessa's crying got louder and louder and her heartbeat had not slowed. A doctor walked into the room running to her bedside comforting her till her heart pace slowed. She eventually stopped her crying but was still taken aback by the dream she had. " Sweetie did you have another nightmare." Vanessa nodded her head and looked down at her hands. " Sweetie its only half 2 in the morning you need to get some more sleep." Vanessa shook her head and looked at the doctor with pleading eyes. " I know what if I can get you some medication for your nightmares will you get some sleep." Vanessa thought for a moment. She knew she had been given a lot of pills during her visit at the hospital but not nightmare pills. She knew this would help her sleep at night which she desperately wanted to do she nodded her head and gave a thankful smile to the doctor. Once Vanessa had taken the pills it took her around 30 minutes to get to sleep because she was still very cautious.

_**Next Morning**_

Once Vanessa had woken up she was determined to get Zac alone for a few minutes. She had no idea that he loved her. She just wasn't sure if she loved him. Love was a serious word and she didn't want to say something she may not be able to commit to. Especially if she did not even want to be here any more. When Lucas, Zac and Corbin were heading out the door Vanessa mouthed the word "STAY" to Zac. "Guys I'm not really hungry at the moment I had some breakfast before you guys woke up is it okay if I stay and keep Nessa company?" The boys nodded and told them they would bring something back for him just in case and left the two alone.

"Hey beautiful girl, is everything okay? " Vanessa nodded and once again she patted for Zac to come and sit beside her. He could not resist and obeyed her wish. Vanessa wanted to know if she felt the same way. She didn't want to talk to him she just wanted to experience the moment again and see if she felt the same thing she did last time, a connection. She hugged him tightly and put her head against his chest. He loved it when she was so affectionate. He pulled her up higher and began to stroke her hair. The two sat in silence. Not knowing what to say to the other person. Vanessa was thinking about a couple of months ago when her favourite person in the world had been taken away by someone's cruel intentions. She didn't want to think about it but she could not stop and it brought the image of the guy in her dream back into her thoughts. She jumped back slightly scared of the person she saw. Zac reacted quickly and pulled Vanessa into his embrace. "What's wrong sweetie?"  
She didn't want to tell him about anything. Not even Lucas knew about her dreams. She hadn't even told Clay. "I'm sorry it's just I am a bit scared about coming out tomorrow." she lied.  
"It's okay sweetie. Me Corbin and Lucas are going to be with you all the time don't worry."  
Vanessa nodded to him and relaxed into his side. She was a bit scared of Clay because she knew he was going to be persistent about the whole eating disorder again and that was something she didn't want anyone to intervene in. She thought it wasn't so bad not eating but it was effecting her health dramatically. She was broke out of her thoughts by Zac kissing her head numerous times. She giggled and Zac continued to place delicate kisses across her forehead. She wanted him to kiss her again she wanted to feel that spark to know if this was something more than a little crush. But Lucas and Corbin walked in and came to sit besides the two. Vanessa knew she had to get Zac alone again later on but she loved having Lucas and Corbin around too for one Lucas was her best friend in the whole world. And two Corbin made any dull moment funny. The three talked about random stuff like when they get back home they should have a movie night and endless sleepovers. Vanessa and Lucas shared a massive apartment together but Zac and Corbin were going to come and stay for awhile. They had just got a new apartment in Tree Hill but they wanted to stay with Vanessa and make sure she had her closest friends around her.

Lucas had asked for a few moments alone together with his best-friend so Zac and Corbin left to get some much needed coffee. "So how are you feeling today baby girl ? ". Vanessa loved how affectionate and caring Lucas was and she knew she had one of the greatest friends in the world but sometimes she didn't like answering these questions because she always had to lie and make her self look happy. She didn't feel the best today. She wasn't as depressed but she was impatient. She wanted to go home and do some of the things she and her friends had planned to do. She knew she was going home tomorrow afternoon but she felt like it was too long away. "I'm good why?"  
"No reason I just wanted to see how my best friend is doing because I care about her so much."  
A smile appeared across Vanessa's face and this made Lucas happy also. He knew she had a long way to go still but baby-steps was all he expected. The two of them cuddled up for a while and talked about the good memories they had together.

Clay came at the expected time to see Vanessa and he wanted to talk about something Vanessa hated more than her food disorders. " Vanessa today I want to talk about your family." Vanessa shook her head and stared away from the man in front of her. Clay didn't know Vanessa had family problems until Lucas had told him a bit about her Uncle Keith and her Uncle Dan. " You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to Vanessa, I'm not allowed to force you into anything."  
"I'm sorry I don't talk about most things but it hurts to relive some of them. Especially some that can't be fixed or taken back."  
" Is there anything you would take back if you could."  
" My uncle Keith s death he was the person who took care of me when my farther died and my mother basically abandoned me but I don't blame her. Why would she want me ? My uncle Keith was shot by my other Uncle because he was jealous. But even know it is done with and I should get on with my life now I can't because the nightmares are always there to haunt me! I can't do anything about them except wait. Wait to see if they ever stop. I never really knew my farther he died when I was a few months old but I would give anything to know what he was like. Was he anything like my Uncle Keith." Vanessa realise that she had just told nearly everything about her family and she kind of felt good for getting it off her chest. She hadn't noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks until she saw Clay holding out a tissue to her. He pulled her into a comforting hug and waited till she was ready to talk again.  
"If you don't want to answer this question it's perfectly okay but did your mother say anything to you before she abandoned you. Because I am confused on why she would abandon someone as pretty and warm hearted as you."  
"My mum didn't really care about me from the day I was born. I loved her but she never loved me back. She hated me being with Keith because my dad and Keith never really got along and my mum loved my dad. She would never get over his death. My mum was going to put me into care when I was 12 but Keith offered to take me in and he got custody of me. My mum would visit often and sometimes she would be a bitch and sometimes she would be like a mum really. Now I hardly see her. She never showed up to Keith's funeral the other month and she had promised me she would. After he died I went to stay with her for a while. She was never at home she worked on business trips and I stayed at home mourning over Keith. If I was crying she acted as if she didn't know why. So I moved out and I bought an apartment with Lucas and I text my mum constantly asking if she would go to the funeral. She had told me she would defiantly be there but she never showed and she text me saying she had to do some housework. When she sent me that text I was glad she never came to the funeral because I knew from then that she never cared about Keith." Vanessa let our a few more tears and then turned to face Clay.  
"Well I'm not one to judge but it seems your mother had moments when she doesn't show her emotions or just wants to blame someone else for your dad's death."  
Vanessa talked more about her mother that session and how she was to her. Clay got up to leave reassuring Vanessa she was going to be okay and she had some fantastic friends. Clay told the three boys Vanessa was a bit upset about her talk today and that it was about her family. They went in to see Vanessa with her knees up to her chest rocking her self back and forward. Lucas walked up to her and put hiss arm around her shoulder pulling her into a hug.  
"Are you okay sweetie?"  
Vanessa nodded and pretended to put on a happy face. It didn't feel right to talk about her family but at-least she had got most of her family problems out in the open. But there was one person in her family that made her sick with fear. She didn't like saying his name. It was like someone in Harry Potter saying Voldamort. Vanessa shook all that from her mind and decided to listen to the conversation the boys were having.  
" Well tomorrow afternoon I rented some films that we can watch so Vanessa can get used to staying at home."  
"Can we please stop talking about going home it makes me want to go home now." Vanessa was so excited about going home. The place she loved to be. It was the place her and Lucas had spent the last 2 years living. Vanessa was only 19 and Lucas only 20 but they had decided to move in to an apartment during high school so Vanessa didn't have to live with her mum. Lucas lived with his mum and dad before he moved in the apartment but he wanted to comfort his best friend because her mother had basically left her and the most important carer in her life had been murdered. Vanessa and Lucas both had fantastic jobs. Vanessa had her own million-dollar clothing line and Lucas had his writing career.  
Zac and Corbin had just graduated college. Zac was now 21 and Corbin was 20. They had moved to Tree Hill for better job opportunities because the place they had just moved from was busy and it would be harder to find a job. They had bought an apartment a few blocks away from Lucas' and Vanessa's apartment.  
"Sure what do you want to talk about sweetie ? " Corbin was a funny person but he was so caring at times. Especially towards his closest friends Lucas , Vanessa and Zac.  
" EastEnders." Vanessa replied "What's happened in the square recently" All three boys laughed .  
"Yes Vanessa, because we spent all our time watching some EastEnders rubbish." Zac replied.  
" Hey EastEnders is good, But you have to get into it first."  
"Well I guess I don't have the patience to watch EastEnders then." Lucas replied.  
After about an hour Vanessa felt tired with all the medication the doctors had gave her today.  
"Go to sleep sweetie, tomorrows a big day for you."  
Zac,Lucas and Corbin waited until Vanessa was in a deep sleep and left the hospital for some sleep. Visiting hours were also over. But all 3 of them were relieved that Vanessa was coming out tomorrow.


	7. It Feels Like Forever !

Chapter 7- It Feels Like Forever !

Friday Morning  
  
"Please just let me go home now!" Vanessa was so excited about going home she hated staring at the same 4 white walls everyday. It was starting to have an effect on her.  
"Sweetie we just have to do a few tests and then you can go home. You should be able to go home in an hour or so." The Doctor had told her the same thing an hour ago and she was beginning to think that the Doctor was lying.  
"What about Clay do I have to see him today?"  
"No, Clay is going to visit your home twice a week now because we understand it may be hard on your social life if he came every day."  
"What days will he come"  
"Wednesdays and Sundays I think."  
Vanessa liked Clay but she was glad that she didn't have to do counselling every day. But if she had to have counselling every day she wouldn't mind because at least she would be at home, where she felt safe.  
"When am I aloud to see Lucas and the others?"  
"Soon, When we finish the tests."  
Vanessa had been talking and asking questions ever since she woke up this morning. The Doctors were glad because she hardly ever spoke to them before this. They were unsure about letting her out today because she still had unsettling nights but the decision had been made and she was aloud to go home for the first time in 2 months.

After 2 dreadful hours of testing the Doctors allowed Zac, Corbin and Lucas to come in and see Vanessa.  
"Hey Vanessa , you excited about today." Vanessa was sure Lucas already knew the answer but she decided to be polite and answer.  
" Yes , so what are we going to do tonight."  
"Well I got some films we can watch." Corbin always had horror films and that's just what Vanessa needed. A good horror film to watch.  
"What film?"  
" Saw II "  
" It's a bit gory isn't it Corbs? " Lucas was worried about Vanessa watching gory films like these it did sound stupid but he didn't want her to get ideas into her head. He knew she hadn't healed properly yet and worried about her so much. He was worried she would try it again.  
"No I need to watch something scary, It keeps my mind off things." The things Vanessa was thinking about was the person. The person who made her catatonic when they said his name. She hated what he did to the only person who cared for her in her family.  
"Okay, but if I have nightmares about some creepy jigsaw person I'm blaming you."  
"Fine with me."  
A doctor walked in interrupting the conversation and asked the boys to step outside for a few seconds. He was carrying a clipboard and a first aid kit.  
"Okay things are looking good Vanessa on your tests so that means you can leave right away."This comment put a huge smile on Vanessa's face. " But first I was wondering if you wanted me to bandage.. the erm.. Scars." Vanessa looked at the 2 big lines on both of her wrists and quickly nodded. She didn't want anyone to see them. She thought it would make her look pathetic.  
The doctor bandaged both of her arms and told her that she could get her stuff ready and sign out of the hospital when ever she was ready. Vanessa went into the bathroom and collected all of her necessities and dressed her self into her black skinny jeans and a white long-sleeved top and a gray jacket to go over the top and her white pumps. She also put on her charm bracelet that Lucas had got her in the first year of high school. It was ridiculously to big for her even no it was only the small size. She only had tiny wrist so she put it on over the jacket. She brushed her long silky midnight curls and placed the brush back into her suitcase along with the rest of her clothing. She headed towards the door and met Lucas, Corbin and Zac.  
"Let me take that for you sweetie."  
"Such a gentlemen Lucas"  
The three headed out and got into Corbin's Volvo S60. The ride was silent. Vanessa was staring out at the landscapes. The River Court the place her, Lucas, Skills, Junk , Mouth and Monique used to hang out back in high school. She saw the place where Karen's Café was. That is the place which Lucas' mum owns. Karen was like a mum to Vanessa , caring, sweet and a good listener. Karen had come to visit Vanessa in hospital a couple of times with Andy her Husband and Lucas' dad. She could remember back in high school when Gavin Degraw came to open mic night and that gave her and Lucas an idea for TRIC the all-ages club. It was a huge success even now people go in TRIC.  
She was only around the corner to her house and she got more excited every move the car made.  
Zac put his arm round her body and pulled her closer to him.  
"Calm down sweetie, We are nearly there."  
"It feels like forever since I've seen it though."

The car pulled into the space and Vanessa was the first one to step out of the car.  
" Vanessa slow down I have the keys you know." Lucas grabbed Vanessa's suitcase and headed towards the front door. He pushed the key into the lock and pushed down the handle.  
"And...We're home ! "  
"At last" Vanessa continued the sentence. She looked all around the massive hallway as if she had never seen it before. The large spiralling staircase led up to the 1st,2nd,3rd and 4th floor.  
"Wow I almost forgot how big this place really was." Vanessa and Lucas had bought this house because it was the only one close to home at the time. They didn't care it was a house that had like 15 bedrooms they were just so grateful it wasn't on the outside of Tree-Hill.  
"You guys planning to have a dozen kids when your older or something."  
" Your just jealous that our house is bigger than yours, and has a massive pool by the way. Oh and Corbs we have a outside basketball court."  
"See ya later guys I'm off to check out the court, Later."  
The Three laughed and went to show Zac the rest of the house while Corbin drooled over the Basketball court. Lucas and Corbin was like a two-person basketball team they were the best B-Ballers in all of Tree-Hill except for one other who was equal to them. Nathan Scott. Him and Lucas never really got on. He had the same Uncle as Lucas so they were cousins. Nathan Scott had tried to mess with Lucas by trying to win the Tree Hill Raven's over and kick Lucas off the squad and steal the most special person in his life, Vanessa. It never worked the 2 were both on the Raven's Team and Vanessa was always going to stand beside Lucas. Lucas and Nathan made up after a while of fights and arguments but still never really spoke to each other much. Lucas and Vanessa was invited to The graduation party Nathan held at his parents beach-house but that's the last time Lucas and Vanessa spoke to him. He had told Vanessa he loved her but she never believed him. She thought it was a plan to get to Lucas. What she didn't know was that everything Nathan told her was true. He had fallen in love with her.  
Vanessa stepped inside her bedroom with Lucas right behind her.  
"Missed your bedroom"  
"I guess, Where did Zac get to ?"  
"I think he went to check out the basketball court."  
"Lucas have you got my phone I need to ring someone? "  
"Yeah I put it in your draw for you. Who you ringing ? "  
" Mum"  
" Ok I'll give you some privacy."  
Lucas put the suitcases down and left the room. Vanessa had such a big room for such a small person. She had a huge wardrobe and her own en-suite bathroom. She never asked for the house to be this luxurious she just wanted it to be in Tree-Hill. She looked at all her pictures on her night-stand and picked up the one of her and Keith. She wished that he was here with her. He didn't deserve what he got. He was a good person.  
"I miss you Keith." She spoke in a low whisper with a small tear rolling down her cheek. She placed the picture back on the stand and then went to join her friends.

"I'm gonna go and pick up the DVD's. Ill be back in ten minutes," Before leaving Lucas places a gentle kiss on Vanessa's forehead."  
"Wait Luke, Ill come with."  
"Ok, Zac are you going to stay with Vanessa.  
"Of course."  
Lucas and Corbin left to get the DVD's from blockbuster while Vanessa and Zac sat on the couch watching EastEnders.  
"You okay sweetie, you're a bit too quiet for my liking."  
"Sorry just wondering why my mum's not answering her phone."  
"I'm sure she is just busy or something."  
"She always is." Zac walked over to Vanessa and pulled her into his embrace.  
"Sweetie just relax, this is your first day home in a while so just enjoy it okay?"  
"Okay"Zac smiled and pecked Vanessa sweetly on the lips. She snuggled into him and they began to watch some more soaps.

Zac felt his phone vibrating and slowly lifted Vanessa up so he could grab his phone.  
"Hello"  
"Hi dude it's Corbs we're sort of stuck at the roadworks we may be a little longer."  
"It's fine man, How long ?"  
"About an hour."  
"Okay we will just have to find something to do till then."  
" Okay see you."  
"Bye."  
"Who was that."  
"Just Corbin and Lucas, They said there is some roadworks so they're gonna be another hour or so. Is it all right if I go get a shower before they come back."  
"Of course you don't need to ask."  
" I know I'm just making sure you'll be okay on your own or that you won't get to bored." A small giggle came from Vanessa.  
"Okay shout if you need anything." Zac headed up to the 2nd floor to take a shower. Vanessa switched the channel 5 or 6 times but nothing was on. She turned to a channel where a man was talking about loss and how it can effect someone dramatically. Vanessa thought of the past few months of her life and how that had a huge impact on her. She quickly turned the TV off and stood up from the couch. She didn't know what to do until Zac came down so she grabbed her coat and headed outside.

The rain fell gently to the ground beneath Vanessa as she hurried to the destination she had decided to go. She reached the Riverside court and circled around the spot where the high school gang had written there goodbyes. She loved this place. It was the one place she could go to get away from everything. She didn't have to think about her losses and the mistakes she had made, she only thought about the times when things were much easier. Back in high school. She looked up at the night sky was a misty red indicating the sun was going down. Vanessa started to think about the day in high school when she was selected student body president and how happy she was to have accomplished something and after she was selected her and Lucas had come down to the riverside court with mouth and celebrated. Vanessa was pulled out of her thoughts by a familiar guy staring at her from the bleachers.

"Skillz?"  
"Hey Nessa, How you doing Baby?"  
"I'm great. You're in Tree-Hill?"  
"Well yes, I just bought a house out here, I only just found out you lived here so I came to the one place I knew you would be. It was either this or your house." Vanessa and skillz laughed.  
Skillz and Vanessa talked about the last year they had. Vanessa left out the bit about her suicide attempt only because she was scared about what people would think.  
"Well it was great to see you Vanessa, I missed you. I missed everyone! You should stop by my house with Lucas sometime."  
"Okay and you should come by our house."  
"Sure thing baby-girl."  
"Bye."  
Vanessa and Skillz hugged one last time before he left and went back to his house. Vanessa sat down on the bleaches thinking more about her terrific high school days."

Meanwhile.

"Hey guys, We're Home?"  
"Hey Guys." Zac called out from upstairs. "Sorry was in the shower."  
"It's fine." Zac came down the stairs all freshened up. " So where is Vanessa ?"  
"She was down here before I went for my shower. Wait a sec, I'll go and check her room"

With Vanessa

Vanessa looked at her watch and realised she had been gone for an hour. She rushed to her feet and turned towards her house. Her house was about ten minutes through the short cut in the woods so she decided to take it. 

With The Boys

"She is not on the 1st,2nd,3rd or 4th floor. I don't know where she has got to."  
"Right she can't be far she knows we are watching films tonight so I'll look in the basement and you two look in the backyard."

With Vanessa

The woods reminded Vanessa of the hospital. Everywhere you look everything is the same. She didn't like it in the woods but she knew she had to get home quick because the guys would be worried sick about her and probably think she jumped off a bridge or something.

With The Boys

"Corbin please tell me she was outside."  
"Ermm... well at least me and Zac now know that you didn't have any luck in the basement."  
"Where is she , what if she ran away or is going to do something stupid or...  
"Luc calm down she'll be fine she has to be somewhere right."

Vanessa entered through the door with an apologetic smile on her face as she saw the worried looks on the boy's faces. 

"Vanessa where have you been?" Lucas hurried up to his best friend and gave her a tight hug.  
" I just went for a walk, I lost track of time sorry."  
"Why didn't you tell me where you were going sweetie?" Zac asked in a soft voice.  
" You were in the shower I didn't want to interrupt, I'm so sorry!"  
"Ok baby just next time tell us where your going okay?"  
"Deal."  
For the rest of the night the gang watched some horror films and later went up to their rooms for the first good nights rest they had in months.


	8. Trust Is Hard To Find !

Chapter 8- Trust Is Hard To Find !

Saturday morning  
Vanessa woke up to the vision of her own bedroom, it felt fantastic to not have to wake up to the same 4 white walls. She had missed the sweet smell of her own bedroom and how nice it felt to wake up to. She missed the fact she couldn't wake up to the picture of her and Keith because that was the best memory she had of him. She quickly got up, took a shower and dressed before heading downstairs.  
" Morning, your up early. Corbin and Lucas are still sleeping. "  
" Oh, What time is it? "  
" Half 7 I think, how are you feeling this morning? "  
Vanessa walked over to the coach where Zac was sitting and placed her self next to him. " Okay, you? "  
"I'm good thanks sweetie, anything you want to do today."  
"Go and see TRIC."  
"Oh, Lucas told me all about that place. It sounds so cool especially since you and Luc created it, When Lucas and Corbs wake up I'm sure we can go out."  
Zac noticed that Vanessa was looking down at the floor a lot and their was no smile on her beautiful face.  
"Are you sure everything's okay sweetie, you seem a little down today? "  
Vanessa nodded but still continued to look down at the ground. Zac found it so hard to communicate with Vanessa because he didn't know what to say. He had grown so attached to her over the past few months and really wanted to get to know her better. He had kissed her a couple of times and it really meant something to him.  
"Smile for me sweetheart." Vanessa looked at Zac and gave him a small smile that wasn't too convincing. Zac lifted Vanessa up from where she was sat and placed her closer to himself. Vanessa then gave a smile that Zac was convinced by. He began softly stroking her cheek trying to comfort her and make sure she knew he was there for her. He moved his head closer to hers and began nuseling his nose into her hair smelling the strawberry scented shampoo.  
"You smell nice." Vanessa let out a small giggle.  
"Thanks I guess."  
"Your welcome beautiful." he slowly started kissing the side of her head and snaked his arms around her tiny waist. He then enlaced their fingers together making Vanessa feel safe and comfortable.  
"wit-woo"  
Vanessa and Zac quickly got up from the sofa to see Corbin looking at them with a grin on his face.  
"Jesus dude you scared me."  
"Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt the romantic mushy stuff."  
Zac was quick to change the conversation because he saw Vanessa was uncomfortable and embarrassed with the current one. "Where's Lucas? "  
"He went for a shower, so what are we doing today."  
"Vanessa said she wanted to go to TRIC so I thought we could go down there together, all of us."  
"Sure why not." Corbin placed himself next to Vanessa on the couch and pulled her into a hug.

Later that afternoon  
Vanessa stared after the Club she had just visited and walked to the car along with the rest of the gang. "Can we come back tomorrow."  
"Sure sweetie." Lucas replied. " But you have to see Clay some time tomorrow remember."  
Vanessa's face dropped when she realised she still had counselling. She loved the fact that she could talk to someone about her problems and she loved clay he was so warm and he could read her like an open book, but she hated some of the conversations where she had to travel to the horrible memories in her past. Suddenly images of Keith and Dan came through her mind. He was standing over Keith's body with a gun and red writing on the wall indicating blood saying your next. A tear slid down Vanessa's cheek with a tiny sob from Vanessa's lungs. All 3 boys looked at Vanessa and saw a pained look on her face and tear drops falling down her pale cheeks.  
"Baby what's wrong." Lucas was concerned about his best friend. What had caused her to cry?  
Vanessa wiped away the tears with her sleeve and turned away so the boys could not see her face. Corbin was the only one in the back seats with her so he turned to Vanessa and pulled her into a comforting hug. The stinging sensation in Vanessa's eyes grew worse and she could not help but let the tears escape. "Sweetie, your worrying me what's wrong." Lucas was thinking of pulling up so he could go and comfort his best friend.  
Vanessa wanted to speak but her emotions were tugging her down and forcing her to cry. Everybody was so worried about Vanessa and wanted to know what was wrong. Everyone had their theories about why Vanessa was crying. Zac thought it was because of what happened between them this morning, Corbin thought it was because she was still depressed about her suicidal attempt and Lucas thought it was because she had to do counselling tomorrow.  
Lucas pulled up in the driveway and quickly rushed out to the side Vanessa was sat at.  
"Baby come on we can go inside and talk." Vanessa's tears had not stopped falling and she just wanted everyone to leave her and stop making her feel uncomfortable.  
The gang walked inside with Lucas' hand wrapped around Vanessa's waist rubbing her side gently to try and calm her down.  
When they got inside the mansion Lucas and Vanessa went to sit on the couch to talk.  
"We will leave you two to talk okay?"  
Zac and Corbin left to go and shoot some hoops outside while Lucas tried to get Vanessa to speak about what was worrying or hurting her. Her tears had finally subsided and it gave Lucas the perfect opportunity to find out what was wrong with his best friend.  
"Sweetheart what's going on in your pretty little head?" Vanessa eyes met Lucas' and she couldn't get her explanation out. She didn't want to tell him about the nightmares and visions she had been having because they hurt to talk about, it was bad enough she had to experience it.  
"Is it that you have to do your counselling tomorrow?"  
"Erm...Yes." Lucas was not convinced with her answer.  
"Baby We can sort this out, I can tell something else is bothering you, I'm your best friend you can tell me anything."  
"I just want to be alone, please..I..I..I'm just gonna go to my room and..think."  
"Okay baby, please if you need me shout or come down and see me okay."  
"Okay." Lucas gave Vanessa a comforting best friend hug and kissed her forehead softly.  
Vanessa made her way up to her room and sat on her bed and pulled her knees up to her chest and began to cry. "Everything's just falling apart."  
Lucas had told Zac and Corbin that he and Vanessa had talked but she was just hurting and didn't want to talk yet. Everyone wanted to know the reason she was so down today. It was hurting them to see her hurting. For the rest of the night Vanessa never came down she had a shower and then changed for bed. Lucas had come to check on her a few times but she was always sat on her bed looking blankly out of the window. Zac had offered her some food but as always she had refused and told him she was not hungry.

Sunday Morning  
Lucas, Zac and Corbin were sat around the kitchen table eating their breakfast in silence.  
"Is Vanessa not up yet Luc?" Corbin queried.  
" Yes she was just having a shower, she promised me she would come down afterwards though."  
"Good , does she seem any better today?"  
" A little but she still seems like something is bothering her, which I want to fix."  
"I know dude, just be patient she will tell one of us in her own time." The threes boys ate the rest of their breakfast in silence and waited for Vanessa to come down.  
Vanessa got out of the shower and wrapped the towel around her tiny body. She dried her hair and combed her midnight curls and put on her dark skinny jeans, a plain white top and her Tree Hill Ravens huddie. She slipped her shoes on and then took out the bracelet Lucas had given her and placed it over her tiny wrist. She looked into the mirror staring at her reflection thinking _I look pathetic, I don't know why my friends are so nice to me they deserve much better, I'm ugly and I don't deserve a life._ But she was wrong everyone thought she was so perfect. She was beautiful and had amazing friends and most importantly she was not pathetic. She made her way downstairs to were her friends were eating breakfast and she managed to pull off a small smile just so they wouldn't ask questions.  
"Hey sweetie" Lucas said smiling at his best friend.  
"Hey,erm is it okay if I go for a walk?"  
"Sure sweetie you want me to come with you ? "  
"No, it's okay."  
"You want to go alone." He asked in a very concerned way.  
"Do you not trust me or something?"  
"Sweetie of course I trust you, it's just...I.I"  
"Just forget it I won't go." Vanessa went back upstairs into her room upset that her best friend didn't even trust her anymore. She didn't want everyone to think everytime she did something it automaticly meant she was going to cause harm to herself. She wished that her friends didn't care so much because she thought she wasn't worth it.

Downstairs  
"I didn't mean it like that guys what if she hates me? " Lucas was worried his best friend wasn't going to talk to him anymore all he wanted to do was help her heal. He did trust her it was just he cared about her and just wanted her to be safe.  
"She will be okay, she's just having a bad time at the moment she still loves you and your still her best friend." Corbin always had great comforting words to soothe people.  
"I'll go and talk to her and ask her for you, I'm sure she'll be okay."  
"Thanks Zac"  
Zac made his way upstairs and paused at Vanessa's bedroom door. He knocked on the door lightly and asked for permission to enter.  
"Sure, doors open." Her voice was timid and it sounded the same as yesterday when she was feeling down.  
"Hey sweetie, Lucas is just worried about you okay, he didn't mean to upset you he feels really bad about this."  
"I didn't mean to make him upset I just wanted him to trust me." Zac moved on to Vanessa's bed and pulled her into his safe arms.  
"He does sweetie, it's just he wants you to be safe and he is your best friend and he will always look out for you."  
"I'm sorry." Zac moved Vanessa onto his lap and moved his hands around her waist.  
"You don't have to be sorry sweetie, you've done nothing wrong it's just a misunderstanding okay?"  
"Okay." She smiled at Zac and held on to his hand. Zac moved his head closer to hers and began kissing her head numerous times. She let out a small giggle and began to move herself further away from him. He wanted to keep close to her so he followed her and pulled her back to where he was sat. "Your not going anywhere." A small smile played on her lips and he began to nibble on her ear.  
He moved down slowly and found himself at her lips. He touched the upper lip softly testing if she would move away. He slowly moved down and the kiss grew more intense. He slowly placed his hands back around her waist as she held around his neck. He rubbed his hand up her side making her let out a soft moan. He touched her lips with his tongue asking for permission to enter which she kindly accepted. Their tongues battled as he lay her down on the bed not breaking the kiss. When air became reluctant they broke the kiss with both of them smiling at the other. The door opened revealing a very confused and surprised Lucas. Zac let go of Vanessa's waist and she moved back right until she hit the wall. "well I didn't expect that." Vanessa looked at Lucas who just stared back at her with a confused look on his face. "I'll give you both some privacy then." Lucas left the room baffled with what he just saw. Zac had been kissing his best friend when she was vulnerable. Was that the right thing to do ? He was furious with the fact he had kissed her. Lucas was in love with Vanessa and some guy who he thought was cool was just kissing her. He was hurt. He wanted to be the one who gave Vanessa the reassurance she needed. He didn't even want to look at Zac or at the moment,Vanessa.  
Vanessa's eyes were filled with tears as Zac pulled her into a comfort hug. "I didn't mean to upset him, Why is he angry?"  
"I don't know sweetie , I really don't know."  
Vanessa let her tears escape whilst she rested on Zac's chest. She was heartbroken, she hadn't meant to upset Lucas so much she could tell by his facial expressions that he was mortified. She needed to speak to him but she didn't have the courage to do it now. She was now glad she had a session with Clay soon because she needed some advice.  
Vanessa spent most time in her bedroom again that day and she kept on looking at the clock. It was three thirty and Clay was expected at four. She didn't dare go downstairs with the cold looks Lucas would give her. Zac had stayed with Vanessa and told her that he wanted to stay with her. They had watched some movies but both of them were worried in-case Corbin and Lucas were downstairs bad mouthing them. But Lucas hadn't even told Corbin about the kiss Zac and Vanessa had shared and he didn't want to because Corbin would probably congratulate them. He was torn to see the love of his life kissing someone else. He knew it wasn't her fault because he hadn't even told her how he felt, but he didn't know they had come that close. Corbin had kept the fact they were close the yesterday to himself because he thought it was nothing but he didn't know how wrong he was.  
"So what are those two doing up there."  
"Nothing, I don't know." Corbin could sense the sadness in Lucas' voice.  
"Are you okay man."  
"Yeah just a little tired." He lied.

Around 4ish Clay came round and Lucas told him Vanessa had been a bit upset yesterday, he never mentioned the kiss to Clay either if she wanted to tell someone she could. Clay made his way upstairs to see Zac and Vanessa watching the TV although Vanessa wasn't paying attention to the film she was just looking down with sadness in her eyes.  
"Oh hey Clay, erm..I'll leave you two alone." Zac left to go downstairs but was worried about bumping into Lucas. When he got down the two boys were sat on the couch playing NBA 2011.  
"Hey dude"Corbin greeted."Come play you can be the Bobcats."  
"Nah,I'll just watch but thanks." Lucas looked at Zac with an angry look on his face trying to make Zac feel guilty about kissing his best friend or in other words his first proper love interest.

Counselling Session  
"So how does it feel to be at home then Vanessa?"  
"Okay..I guess."  
"You guess ? When I saw you at the hospital last time you were so excited to be going home. Is something wrong."  
"I don't know."  
"Sweetie if there is anything you need to talk about I promise you I will keep it between me and you." Vanessa knew Clay would but she didn't like talking about her dreams that were the biggest problem or the fact her best friend hates her.  
"I keep on ...I...erm." Vanessa's eyes watered as she thought about the dreams and thoughts she had been having over the past few months.  
"Sweetie if it is too hard for you it's okay if you don't want to tell me."  
"But even if I do tell you it won't fix the problem."  
"How do you know sweetie , I could help you get past this a little bit whatever it is, maybe it will help if you get this off your chest."  
"Well..I have been having these dreams and they never change, I.. I keep on seeing Keith there and D...Dan and it always brings back the day he … died and I don't want a constant reminder that he is gone. Everything just fell apart when he left."  
"Sweetheart I know this is hard for you but these dreams may be trying to tell you something, Maybe Keith is trying to tell you to try and be strong for him, not to forget him but try and live your life to the fullest because that's what he would of wanted you to do."  
"But the message doesn't say that at all it says...It says..." Vanessa let a tear role down her cheek. Clay went round to sit beside Vanessa and put his arm around her trying to comfort her.  
"Sweetie is the message bad...?"  
"Yes, It says your next but the weird thing is I didn't mind about being next because in one of my dreams Dan says when your turn comes around you might be able to see Keith again, So it's weird because I'm looking forward to dying... To see Keith again."  
"Sweetie these dreams aren't real and you have gotta try and ignore them because your Uncle loved you and he would of wanted you to carry on with your life and be happy, your friends are here to help you and I'm sure they won't let anything happen to you."  
"I know that, Well what's left of my friends anyway."  
"What do you mean sweetie?"  
"Nothing I just think Lucas is mad at me."  
"Why would he be mad at you."  
"Because I sort of...was with Zac and he saw..us..erm"  
"Oh I get it."  
"But I don't get why he would be mad at me for that...He's my best friend and it's not like he doesn't like Zac or anything."  
"Maybe Lucas just cares about you and it is weird for him to see you with another guy, he may be afraid you won't spend as much time with him if you were seeing someone."  
"But he's my best friend and I would never leave him or ditch him for anyone, we would always find time to hang out and do stuff together, especially since he helped me with the stuff that's been going on these past few months."  
"Well you should tell him that maybe it will make him feel more better about the situation."  
"But I don't think he trusts me"  
"Why do you say that Nessa ?"  
"Because when I was bored this morning I told him I was gonna go out for a walk and he asked me if I wanted him to go with me and I told him that it was okay and he just looked at me funny and said so your going out by yourself and looked at me in a confused way. He didn't want me to go by myself today but a few months ago he would say sure thing."  
"Sweetie I know what your thinking about this that he doesn't want you to go out because of what happened..."  
"Yeah he probably thinks I'm going to jump off a bridge or something."  
"Sweetie I'm sure he knows you won't do that I think he is just worried about you and has become more attached to you because he doesn't want to lose you. Now he has experienced you not being 100% okay he wants to be there for you and just help you."  
"I know and I love him for that it is just everyone is like that now, watching me, staring at me when I'm in the same room as they are and they follow me a lot."  
"I guess they just care about you too much."  
"Is there anything else you want to talk about?"  
"Not really."  
"Well there is something I need to talk about with you" Vanessa looked at Clay with a confused look. What else could he want to talk about. She had a feeling it was going to be something she didn't like. "What have you eaten today." Vanessa knew this conversation was going to come back up some time or later but she just wanted more time.  
"Ermm..." Vanessa looked at the ground and began twiddling her fingers.  
"Have you ate anything today?" Vanessa looked into Clays curious eyes and shook her head. She was going to lie and say yes but she knew the truth comes out someway or another.  
"Sweetie you need to eat because it is affecting your health and you know what the doctors said and you could end up back in hospital. You hated that place."  
"I'm not hungry though."  
"Nessa, you say that everytime I ask about your eating and maybe we need to get you to see a eating disorder specialist."  
"No, I don't need to I'm fine."  
"Yes but Vanessa it won't always stay like that and sweetie you need to get this sorted okay?"  
"Whatever"  
"Is that Keith ? " Vanessa looked over to the picture Clay was looking at. It was Vanessa as a 4 year old girl with Keith at his 21st birthday.  
"Yeah." Her voice was slightly shaky and it was noticeable to Clay.  
"Well I bet he is proud of you no matter what."  
"Yeah I guess."  
"Okay do you want to wrap this session up early." Vanessa nodded her head in response. Clay got up and turned to face Vanessa. "Okay I will see you again Wednesday and just smile okay sweetie."  
Vanessa looked at clay and put on a small smile."Good girl". Clay made his way out and told the gang he was going. Vanessa also made her way downstairs to find all three boys looking at her. Lucas is a let down way, Zac in a reassuring way and Corbin in a friendly way. 


End file.
